If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
