first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize