Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
