just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
