I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
