i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
