The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
