We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
