Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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