Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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