Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize