i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
