We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
