a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
