I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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