put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
