Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize