i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
