OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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