I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
