you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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