Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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