I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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