K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
I did not marry a roomba.
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