Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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