i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
