A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Farmville is her only friend.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
