i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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