He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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