Rock
Scissors
Fuck
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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