this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
he shaved USA in his pubs
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
