we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
