I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
