I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
