Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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