I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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