I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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