i just wanna soil my oats bro
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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