It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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