Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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