so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
