i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
We need to feng shui this bitch.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
