Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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