we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize