I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
