five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
