He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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