btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
