I can tuck mytits in my pants
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
