She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize