Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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