i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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