So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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