Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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