I got chris browned last night
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Text me some of your sweat
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
