why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
