I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
