My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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