yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
