Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
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can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
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Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
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