I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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