Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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