Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
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