Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
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